Women, Men, and Life Lessons

Woman are like a massive ocean of emotion. They flow and change like the waves and tides. They really have no direction. Whilst they can give to you the calmest and most peaceful experience, they can also brew the fiercest of storms sinking every man's ship that crosses their path. So if a woman is an ocean, what can a man be to give her what she wants?A man should be a shoreline and rocks.

Hmm.. Ok ppl, lets get real for a while shall we?

Lets start with women. What do women want? *Tall, dark and handsome. Buys you a drink and winks and you from across the room. Sweeps you off your 7-8 sized feet. He's the one. Prince charming. You'll live happily-ever-frickkin-after..* SNAP OUT OF IT!!! Unless your livin on Planet Ape, that just doesnt exist, damn it. Do you really have to fantasize?? No. Live in reality for once and get things right.

So, here's how it is. Women, go out, go shopping, grab a Starbucks' Caramel Frap, do whatever you want. Just remember 1 thing. There's no such thing as perfect. Stop trying that torturous diet, wearing something that you can BARELY breathe in, fumbling your chest for people to notice you. Trust me, honey, they'll notice you alright. As the "poor thg, tryin to get laid." If you're tryin to get a guy to notice you, get up off your a**, shove your playin-hard-to-get face somewhere else, and be straight forward. Oh and if you're goin for the huge handbag, ultra huge shades, 9 inch heels, shorts which are fit to be your underwear, that's just fine. Just.. try and make sure you make it work and dont look like Bobo da clown. As for me, i think its simple. Classify them. Women, i mean, of course. There are only 5 groups of women. Take a look.

The Slut—It’s no secret that men are driven by what they see. The chicks that prance around in barely-there outfits and put themselves out there like walking sex billboards will definitely attract a man, but not for long. These women are the “Promiscuous” girls that Nelly Furtado sang about. They think it’s cute to get sloppy drunk and flash strangers. They feel empowered by having one-night stands and getting attention from as many men as they can. Without the shenanigans of these girls, Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild fame would have been forced into another line of work.

The Knockout—She’s beautiful, she’s confident, and she knows how to get what she wants. All eyes are on her when she walks into a room. Mucho points for a man’s ego. Other men wish they could have her and women are slightly intimidated by her (although they won’t admit it).

The Challenge—Men love the thrill of the hunt. They want the woman that is attractive, smart, charming … and out of their reach. The woman who doesn’t fall all over them when other women do. The woman this is nonchalant or even slightly aloof regarding the fact that this man wants her so bad. She may even be his friend, but he just can’t quite get there.

The Submissive—These are women who will make a man feel like a man. She likes for him to take the bull by the horns in the relationship and she will cater to him no matter what. He won’t have to clean/take care of the kids/cook or do much of anything because she’s like his own personal servant.

The One You Can Take Home to Mama—This woman is just an all-around great catch. She gets along with his friends, understands him like no other, makes him laugh, shares his interests, stimulates his mind, maybe even lets him watch a game in peace every once in a while. She’s a keeper!

Ok so what about guys/men then? Well, honestly, they're not as complicated as women. Maybe sometimes. But most of the time, they're smooth goin, playful, and basically everthing that (to a woman) is rocket science. Dont ask what they want though. Cause thats a bloody simple answer which could either be a turn off and annoy the hell outta you, or which you could just accept as a part of the male species. So maybe prince charming doesnt exist. But these 5 types of men do:

The Bad Boy—He may not have a pot to p*ss in or a window to throw it out, but, if he’s a thug or some other type of bad boy, women will want him. BAD. They’ll wanna fight other women for him. They’ll wanna be his baby mama. They’ll wanna be the one that he settles for. Guess what? This dude’s not gonna settle! He loves the attention and he’ll play a woman as long as she lets him. And if you leave him? So what. There’s another woman waiting around the corner to take your place. Turns out he’s been seeing her on the side anyway!

The Brainiac—Women are turned on by a certain part of a man where the bigger, the better. I’m talking about his brain, of course! Women love a man who can challenge their intellect and enlighten them on a few subjects, whether it be politics, mechanical engineering, or whatever subject matter their lacking knowledge in. It’s sexy when a man can hold a stimulating conversation and actually look you in the eye. It doesn’t hurt when he can answer a few questions while playing Trivial Pursuit, either.

The Charmer—Charisma is extremely important. Nobody wants to end up with someone who will bore them out of their skull. It’s important to women that their man is appreciated by their friends and loved ones. He should have the wit and charm to hold folks in awe for hours on end. They want to hear them say “What a great guy! I like him. When is he coming around again?”

The Knight in Shining Armor—Let’s face it, women don’t like wimps. They want a man to protect them from danger, defend their honor, and carry heavy groceries (not necessarily in that order). They want a strong man in their corner. Not that they'll test him, but they basically want him to be able to kick someone’s butt if it comes down to that.

The Perfect Man— i told you. nothing and noone is perfect. doesnt exist.



Well, thats that. This is not about "battle of the sexes". Just a simple article from reality experiences.
In the words of India Arie

"Dont be offended,
this is all my opinion, ain't nothin that im sayin law.
This is a true confession of a life learned lesson
i was sent here to share with ya'll"

Men, women, be happy with your lives. If you think you have problems, think again. There are ppl in the world who dont know what snow looks like, or what Chris Brown & Rihanna sound like. Count and thank your stars.
Hope you enjoyed. Cheerz.